The Kids Are All Right (2010) Reviews

• The Kids - and this Movie - Aren't All Right

  flickernatic2010-11-23

  This is an entertaining movie worth seeing, at times funny, at times moving, but one that fails, frustratingly, to exploit its potential. Nic and Jules are a lesbian couple, each with a teenage child fathered by the same anonymous sperm donor, Paul. Their children decide to contact their father and he enters, rather awkwardly, in to the family's lives. Nic and Jules' relationship is loving but passionless - they resort to watching gay porn in bed but even this fails to produce a spark - and before long, Jules and Paul become energetic lovers who meet repeatedly to pursue their affair. Paul, who has never settled into a relationship, finds that he has fallen in love with Jules. He also discovers that the children he fathered so anonymously now mean everything to him. He wants to find a way to continue the relationship with his 'kids' and Jules. But, despite the positives he has brought to them, ultimately he is rejected by them all. Nic, Jules and the kids resume their previous lives while Paul is left out in the cold. The dramatic situation created by Paul's arrival, his affair with Jules and its effects on Nic and the 'kids' is potentially very interesting and worth exploring. Unfortunately, the theme is treated at best half-seriously, as if Hollywood can't cope with this topic without making it into a comedy. The inclusion of several explicit sex scenes is also a distraction which adds nothing to the story. Most disappointing of all is the ending; this seemed a cop-out. Jules is clearly bi-sexual but she suddenly claims that she is all-lesbian; Nic seems barely troubled by Jules's startling lapse; the 'kids' are overly keen to reject Paul; and all this appears to be designed to produce an old-fashioned 'happy ending' in which the lesbian couple and their children return to everyday life as if nothing had happened (what?!) - except Paul, that is, who is told to 'go and find your own family'. Are, then, the 'kids' 'all right'? On the contrary, their parents' antics appear to have left them in a dreadful mess. Maybe we are supposed to take the title ironically. On the plus side, the acting is generally good, although Mark Ruffalo does too much mumbling and Julianne Moore tends to over-act. The outstanding performance for me was from Mia Wasikowska as the daughter, Joni. But this would have been a far better, more memorable and thought-provoking movie if it had followed through more courageously. I'm sure Jimmy McGovern would have done it a whole lot better!

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• One real moment is all it takes to make a film worth something, The Kids Are All Right brings it.

  brielle_jalexa92011-01-04

  OK, so here is what is going on with The Kids Are All Right. When I think of Lesbian couples the image of the family portrayed by the stars of this movie comes to mind. I live in Kentucky so I don't ever really come into contact with any established lesbian couples, but I remember watching this video in a Sociology class about proposition 8 that featured all of these Kentucky based gay couples whose wholesomeness and nuclear family awesomeness were supposed to convince me that gay people should be allowed to adopt kids. For the record it didn't need to because I'm completely for gay people doing anything they want, but if I was ignorant then I might have been convinced. I mean, the couples were perfect, upstanding members of the community, their kids were involved in sports and clubs and they all just screamed 'It's Okay to be Gay and Have Kids!'. What I most remember is that the families kind of all had this lingering desperation in their smiles, like were trying harder to be happy than most people because they were aware that other people would be judging them based on their ability to be happy under the scrutiny of social judgment. The family in the movie, Nic (Annette Benning), Jules (Julianne Moore), Lazer(Josh Hutcherson), and Joni (Mia Wasilowska), kind of all have that same desperation lingering around them. The film basically centers around what happens when the tension brought on by that added responsibility is broken by the intrusion of an outsider. That intruder is Mark Ruffalo. I think the evolution of his character is one of the most interesting parts of the film. When we first meet Mark, he's just so cool. Everybody wants to be like him. Relaxed, carefree, seemingly very open and with an uncanny ability to understand and relate to people. He grows vegetables, doesn't hurt the environment and has sex with YaYa from America's Next Top Model. He seems like the opposite of Nic, the uptight, control freak, who's very traditional and leads a very traditional life despite or in spite of her gay lifestyle. So you think, 'oh, this movie is going to be about an outsider coming into a family and repairing the relationships within it'. Nic will loosen up and the kids will be able to open up to people because someone finally understands them. But unfortunately film hasn't been that neat and tidy since the 1930s. In this film, certain things come into play that switches our perspective and we come to identify more with Nic's character than we really expected. But we share sympathy with every character. At the end, we actually have the most sympathy for Mark, I would say. This switch was unexpected and I think it makes the film special and more worthy than just a farce about a Lesbian couple and a straight guy. The best films are ones in which our expectations are inverted, I think. A film should be like a beautiful unopened flower. The bud is beautiful and then it opens, changes and becomes even more beautiful because of those changes. I know that sounds all preachy and lame but if you can't be preachy and lame on the internet than where can you? My favorite parts of the film were where I saw flashes of my own relationships portrayed in situations presented by the characters. The conflict between Nic and Jules, where they love each other, accept each other, but clearly don't always like each other, injects the film with humor while at the same time serving as a painful reminder of how hard it is to settle down. That struggle to just continue to like the people you love is portrayed so poignantly in the little digs Nic pokes at Jules every now and again. The frustration they both feel is palpable. And If you have an overbearing mother like I do, than you know how it looks and feels to be shut down by your mom like Laser and Joni are by theirs. After every unintentionally overbearing comment, I was like 'wow, that was a real moment.' I have to say that I was a little disappointed with Laser's character. I feel like his character was so rich in the beginning, but really died away to almost nothing by the end. Just a few archetypal little brother comments thrown in to remind us that he's still there. I feel this way because we spent a lot of time with his character in the beginning, understanding that he's a fifteen year old boy. He's moody. And he's searching for something to define him outside of his mothers. That's undoubtedly why he is initially so passionate about finding his biological father. But though his relationship with Mark is pivotal, it is not really explored as deeply as is Mark's relationship with Joni. Basically his character was traveling to a destination that it just didn't reach. But this could be intentional. Teenagers are supposed to be mysterious and confusing so maybe it's true to his character to leave him unexplored. However, it did disappoint me. I don't know how this movie is going to do during awards season. I assume it will do well, but more because of the trendy subject manner than due to it's merit as a film. I don't know, the film society just votes that way sometimes. But it moved me and that's worth an award to me.

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• The Kids is OK.

  st-shot2011-08-07

  Products of same parents different mothers inquisitive teens Joni and Laser seek out their biological father. Paul (Mark Ruffalo) turns out to be a likable laid back vacillator that the kids would like to have more of in their lives. Nic (Annette Benning) a focused doctor is cautious while Jules (Julliane Moore) more free wheeling in the mode of Paul connects with him in more ways than one. Kids is a basic dramedy of bump in the road marital discord enhanced by the changing make- up of today's nuclear family. The same problems of raising a family and maintaining individual identity within the unit are dealt with here as in any union but with the added dynamic of same gender partners struggling with traditional heterosexual hurdles. As lovers and parents Moore and Benning are excellent as they display a nice comfortable chemistry with each other, casually defining and revealing the problems in the relationship without hysteria. Opposites in many ways Benning's Nic is rigid but pliable, Moore's Jules free spirited but conflicted; yet they balance each other well as long time companions. Ruffalo's Paul has a nice irresponsible charm at first that allows him to inveigle his way into the family setting momentarily by winning over the kids and Jules as well as a grudging respect from Nic. Director Lisa Cholodenko maintains a spry enough pace by moving from character to character without bogging down in the superfluous chatter that devoured Laurel Canyon and along with a trio of winning performances to carry it along "The Kids.." is a lot better than all right.

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• The Kids May Be All Right But The Adults Are Awful!

  jminde2011-04-01

  This started out as a warm, funny film about an unconventional family. Annette Bening and Julianne Moore play Nic and Jules, the two Moms. They have raised a daughter, Joni (after Joni Mitchell) and a son, Laser (after the sailing dinghy?) whom they each conceived with sperm from the same donor, making the kids biological half-siblings. Joni is eighteen and college-bound. Laser is fifteen, and getting into trouble with his troubled friend Clay, who uses the word "faggot" too much, mildly physically abuses him, and knows no boundaries (in one scene he appropriates Nic and Jules' sex toy). Out of curiosity (and in Laser's case in need of an older male role model) the kids seek out their biological father Paul (Mark Ruffalo). The unattached Paul is a bit of a free spirit who owns an organic restaurant. Although he is at first bemused by the fact of having children, he is soon an enthusiastic participant in Laser's and Joni's lives. Nic reacts badly. She is the breadwinner, the disciplinarian, and a bit of a control freak who immediately objects to Paul. When nobody pays her any mind, she becomes ill-tempered and begins drinking heavily. Jules is the stay-at-home partner, more passive and more pliant. As Nic withdraws and becomes ever more disagreeable, Jules seduces Paul. For his part, Paul is thrilled to be part of the family, and begins to build castles in the air around his relationship with Jules and the children. Up until this point (about 5/6ths of the movie) this is a good-natured story of an atypical family facing a complex relationship issue. The last sixth of the movie melts down to slag, costing it at least three stars, because THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT suddenly transforms into a hideous anti-male diatribe. The affair comes out. Although Jules instigated it and admits to doing so, Paul is utterly demonized. She is not. Jules breaks off the affair ("I'm gay. Damn you."), and Nic calls him a "F*****g interloper." The kids (particularly Laser) reject him outright. "I thought you'd be better," Joni sneers. It was at about this point that I seriously considered shattering this DVD with a hammer. The utter callousness and cruelty of Joni, Laser, Nic and Jules toward Paul is truly nauseating. Not one of these self-absorbed Hollywood standard-issue Yuppie characters ever considers for a single moment that it is THEY who have brought Paul into their lives. Neither Nic nor Jules has the depth or honesty to understand that they have both manipulated and used Paul to work out underlying and long-standing issues in their own relationship. The dour Laser, in rejecting this caring male figure, probably dooms himself to forming attachments with troublesome and abusive males like Clay who will dominate him for years to come. Joni escapes the nest. The "happy ending" of this vindictive film consists of Nic and Jules rebonding. Paul has vanished, broken. This film was obviously written by a male-bashing, self-hating woman who chooses to portray all lesbians as stereotypically dysfunctional man-haters and all men as garbage. The film's homophobia is manifest in that the women are controlling, manipulative, dishonest, insensitive and abusing without a scintilla of self-awareness. In retrospect, this movie's unbending hatred of men is evident at the outset (what parent names their son "Laser"?). Male behavior is seen as destructive and irresponsible and weak (Paul, the "sperm donor," has no family; Clay urinates on a dog's head at one point; Jules fires the gardener, the only eyewitness to her infidelity, for no real reason at all in some twisted act of expiation, and he slinks off without a single word). In short, this "warm family comedy-drama" turns into a jeremiad against those of us who are so-called cursed with testosterone. Frankly, for me it's a blessing. I'd rather be Paul than be any of the four vicious losers in this film. This vile film was a big hit at Sundance, a Golden Globe winner, and an Academy Award nominee, I have to believe largely because of its oh-so Politically Correct portrayal of a married gay family. I will credit Bening, Moore Ruffalo and the kids with some splendid acting. Ruffalo in particular, deserves a combat medal for surviving this role psychologically intact. Obviously, the critics chose to overlook the unrelieved darkness and negativity that drips like poison from this film. Once more, cruelty passes for entertainment in the 2010s. Forget it.

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• The Adults are not

  doctorsmoothlove2010-10-18

  I hated The Kids are all Right. I haven't had such a difficult time not walking out of a theater since I began writing reviews. Shame on me for not having the courage to do it. The movie unknowingly teases its subject matter while simultaneously making a redundant argument (that any reasonable person already understands) for it. The film has aggressive tone, which makes sitting through its pretentious offenses all the more unbearable. Director Lisa Cholodenko, who is openly lesbian, has created a story that supposedly espouses the abilities of gay families to survive external (heterosexual) threats. This plot is a reaction to early 2000's conservative propaganda about the looming "gay" presence that would breakup families. As we have learned in less than a decade, gay people haven't destroyed straight families. The anti-gay movement also failed because straight people realized this. The sharp sexual identity barrier in The Kids are all Right is entirely outdated. As a member of the gay community, Cholodenko should have reworked the story. There are more contemporary issues to discuss. What unfolds is a series of events culturally-aware citizens should find unnecessary. Nic and Jules are a middle aged lesbian couple with two children from the same sperm donor. They have been married for a long time, and have settled into traditional family roles. Nic is a physician and Jules is a stay-at-home mom. They have two children nearing college age. Joni, the older one, has turned 18 and inquires about her biological father on behalf of her half-brother Laser. They meet Paul, a handsome restaurant owner, who becomes a regular around the house. He of course begins having an affair with Jules who is estranged from her wife over the children's discovery. The threat is eliminated when the affair is discovered and Nic forgives the family for her rude behavior. Jules apologizes too. The family comes back together. The film's greatest offense is in its treatment of Jules. For what purpose does her affair have to be with a man? Why are all the sex scenes so purposefully stylized? Why do we not see her being intimate with her wife, if we even needed to see sex? The movie falls right into the chauvinistic idea that women's homosexual tendencies are really just suppressions of heterosexual feelings. As a story that features a gay couple, which is only a small percentage of all couples, it doesn't cater to its premise. This could be a standard family values story if it involved a straight couple, or if Jules had an affair with a woman. It could make a similar statement if it was about a likely situation a gay family with children would face. Humor is instead inserted at random intervals to atone for the lack of something else to say. Tension is turned on and off, which is the movie's admission that it has no idea of the subculture it depicts or it doesn't care about it. There is a real lack of meaningful gay films within a family setting. Filmmakers need to very much consider and investigate the day-to-day lives of gay single or two-parent households and present a situation that straight people would not understand. This will educate people about the hardships these types of families endure. What we don't need is this untailored piece of trash that finds humor in its own insensitivity.

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