Tentacolino (2004) Reviews

• Worst excuse for a movie.

  conservativebiasnews2016-08-05

  This movie made me feel like I had the flu at Red Lobster. This is an abomination, the animation is crude, the voice acting is terrible, the story line was illogical, and the talking spring fish with the Broad Way Techno Music was more than an abomination, I felt nauses at the sight of the musical number. The whole series was a failure, being a complete slap in the face to anyone who dies aboard The HMS Titanic. Somehow the director who I am assuming was either drunk or high came up with this crazy story that somehow everyone AND I MEAN Everyone survived the worst passenger ship disaster in history. The story begins with a research vessel lowering a byth-something into the water honestly I cant remember what the heck its called however I do know that this thing was invented in 1925 but this movie takes place in WWI which means this whole scenario is inaccurate. The point is, its a submarine of some sorts that is tethered to the surface via ropes and air tubes. It involves the characters from the last movie but all with different voice actors. For some reason a rapping shark hates the color yellow which is why he cuts the tethers to the sub thing, they all suffocate and pass out, which would have been the end of it, but some stupid massive dog octopus thing, the size of an oil platform cant get the sub from getting back to the surface because reasons, but it attracts the attention of some Atlatians who cant mind their own business, and unfortunately save the characters who aren't memorable enough to remember the names. They take them to Atlantis and give them elixirs so they can live forever, bla bla bla, whatever. And then the spring fish gives the a musical number in a ball room full of life size living toys with techno music and CLASSICAL MUSIC. It was so bad I think they just gave up. I also think this is what the Italians think we Americans are into, trashy techno. And for some reason there is a battle with the life sized living toys and some whaling dudes from the last movie or something. And then for some reason WHEN THEY ACTUALLY GET TO FINDING THE TITANIC it is not broken in half even though it did in the last movies. And another musical number, and the movie ends. There is probably some explanation for how bad this movie was, maybe it was a test for some subliminal torture being tested on us by a neo-fascist group trying to overthrow the government. OH YEAH the rapping shark scene.

  More

• What were you expecting?

  Terastas2012-03-24

  Okay, look, we all know about the movie that came before this. So if you saw that and you're honestly interested in the sequel, there are only two possible explanations: A) You are trying to plunge yourself into the depths of hell by finding the worst movie ever, or B) you love to laugh at incredibly bad movies. If it's the former, don't bother, this isn't it. But if it's the latter, you're in luck. This movie is so bad, it's hilarious. The predecessor was most critically panned for relying on ridiculous leaps of logic to move its plot along, like magic moonbeams and a giant otter-faced octopus. "In Search of the Titanic" is NOTHING BUT that kind of craziness -- it begins only five minutes in, and it just gets crazier from there. The first one was insulting. But this one is just too stupid and random to possibly be taken seriously. It's like the crew WANTED this movie to be as laughably crazy as possible. And they succeeded. If you do watch this, watch it with a group of friends; you'll have a gay old time mocking it together.

  More

• Excellent,but the most Underrated Movie Ever!.

  river-945572016-01-29

  Tentacolino (Italian: Alla ricerca del Titanic), also known as In Search of the Titanic, is a 2004 animated film. It is a sequel to the 1999 Italian animated film The Legend of the Titanic directed by Kim Jun-OK. Inside a bathysphere, Don Juan, Elizabeth, Smile, Top Connors, and Ronnie have begun exploring the ocean depths in search of the sunken wreck of the Titanic. However, Ice Teeth, a malicious shark who is their sworn enemy, along with his shark henchmen, have cut the cable to the Bathysphere, causing them to sink. The swooned occupants will magically awake in the lost city of Atlantis. Welcomed by the King of the Court, the heroes undergo a special treatment enabling them to breath underwater. In the meanwhile, Ronnie and Top Connors are approached by other mice and attend a secret meeting where they learn about a plot to steal the Atlantis' longevity elixir. Back on the surface, Ronnie and Top Connors alert Don Juan and Smile to the happening should these mice succeed in their plot. Together, they will reach the king, who, with his own counselors, decide to substitute the longevity elixir with ordinary water. It is then agreed that Top Connors and Ronnie will accompany the felonious mice. With his accomplices, the big mouse steals the elixir, oblivious to the fact that it has been substituted with water. When the big fellow reaches a large city, he invites the mice's chief to try the elixir. This, however, almost kills him by drowning, as it convinces him to jump head first into the sewers tied to heavy stones. As a reward, the king of Atlantis will assist in the Titanic's recovery, enlisting the help of a gigantic Sting Ray, as well as Smile, our giant, friendly octopus. The king next transports the Titanic to the bay of a secret island. I really found this Italian animated film excellent and I voluntarily gave it 10 out of 10.

  More

• The Absolute WORST Movie I've Ever Seen!

  vornado112013-09-16

  Before I begin, I'd like to say that there are probably worse movies out there, but this is the worst movie I've ever seen. If there are worse, please don't let me know. With that said, THIS IS THE WORST, THE ABSOLUTE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN. MY. LIFE! I've seen Son of the Mask, Mr Popper's Penguins, Garbage Pail Kids, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Biodome, North, Starchaser, and the other Titanic movies, but this tops them all! The movie is a sequel to the almost equally abominable movie The Legend of the Titanic, though it's a sequel in the same way Halloween III was a sequel to the rest of the franchise. None of the characters' voices are similar to the original, most of the personalities are either different or nonexistent, and they changed the gender of one of the main characters... The entire movie is also a contradiction since the first movie was told in a flashback that was completely different from what we see here. It's clear that whoever made this movie didn't even bother to watch the first movie(not that I blame them.) To call this bad would be an understatement. To call this awful wouldn't cut it. To call it an UNGODLY ABOMINATION OF MANKIND AND IMAGINATION wouldn't even scrape the tip of the iceberg! The movie rapes your mind, destroys your intelligence, and smashes any sense of sanity or reality you may have had before watching. You will want to stab your eyes out and pour bleach into your skull to try to forget this crap! I could go on and on, but this is a review, so what's it about? In short: The main characters go searching for the Titanic, end up in Atlantis, and fight a swarm of mice and sharks. In long: The main characters go searching for the Titanic, end up in Atlantis, and fight a swarm of mice and sharks. Yes, this movie has the barest excuse for a plot, which becomes more nonsensical and disjointed as the movie goes on. There are side plots about love interests that go nowhere, villains from the first movie that appear out of nowhere and return to the inky blackness they came from, and an amazingly unnerving atmosphere created by the hostage cult known as Atlantis and the characters which instantly develop Stockholm Syndrome. Oh yeah, the main characters are brought to Atlantis against their will, experimented on, and told they can never return... and they take this news as if told they just had to stay with at a friend's house overnight. ...Did I mention this movie is devoid of all logic and emotion? What else happens? They get in a war with rats and sharks... for some reason. The bad guy from the first movie joins in... for some reason. The rats give up but the war goes on for another 20 minutes... for some reason. Finally, our heroes are rewarded... FOR SOME REASON! They should just call this "Bland Characters Doing Random Things." Oh, and if you don't think any of that sounds too bad, I didn't even mention Pengo and the other "aquatic friends", the toys that come to life without explanation(a la Toy Story, but creepier), the god-awful musical numbers with one featuring a rapping shark and the other continually changing genres, and the horrible HORRIBLE ending that will make you question if life is even worth living any more... The characters are bland, stiff, and lifeless, as if they're puppets in a very bad kindergarten show. The songs are ear-rapingly bad and thrown in at the last minute. The animation makes Hanna Barbera look like a Miyazaki film. The backgrounds are murky. Even the voice-acting sounds like they dragged random people in the studio into a recording booth and gave them 30 minutes to ad-lib something. This is probably the only movie where I can say every frame of animation and every line spoken physically hurts me... Overall, if I haven't made it clear enough, THIS MOVIE IS A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRENDOUS, GOD-AWFUL, PATHETIC, WASTE OF TIME! I would give this movie -∞ stars if I could. No artistry, vision, story, or anything redeemable at all. You will walk away feeling unclean and it'll take days to recover from what you've seen. This is a movie that hits rock bottom in the first minute and somehow manages to drill through the Earth's crust as it continues on, finally ending in the molten center of pain and suffering. I wish that every copy of the movie and everyone involved was burned in one massive bonfire! ...If you're a glutton for punishment, watch Bobsheaux's review of the movie to get an understanding of just how bad this is. And don't forget the eye-bleach...

  More

• The easiest way to commit suicide.

  jamanalo982014-11-09

  I cannot believe there would be a sequel to the god awful movie that completely broke history! And this one takes the ice! This one completely defies all rules of physics and reality and again, sugar- coating them so that kids could go to their own wonderland, where toys talk, there is a rapping shark, AND A MOTHERFU***** DOG SHOOTING A LASER PISTOL UNDERWATER. UNDERWATER FOR Christ SAKES! The film is totally unredeemable, the characters are forgettable, and the music? Don't even bother asking. THEY EVEN TELL THE TITANIC IS MYTHICAL! FOR CHRISTS' SAKE THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THE ONE WHERE NOBODY DIED! I hope the creators of this film learned something out of this. If not? Well, at least I'm not the only looking for blood. Unlike the first one, I can forget this for a few weeks, In the words of Tavish Finnegan De Groot(The demo-man of TF2) "Thankfully I already can't remember"

  More