Scottish Mussel (2015) Reviews

• Family Fun

  aw19632017-01-02

  Written,directed and starring the beautiful Talulah Riley,Scottish Mussel is nice,fun,family movie for a night in,that doesn't deserve the vile vitriol spewed by the first reviewer who seems to have a deep grudge as his review is the one and only they have ever written. While not a 'laugh a minute' comedy there are plenty of laughs and a little romance that will satisfy any lover of romantic comedy and warm your heart,all done without violence or swearing,none of which this movie contains. The plot,although a little tired, is tried and true and the soundtrack with the likes of 'The Pretenders' and 'Paolo Nutini' is very appropriate and worthwhile listening to. The only thing that drove me nuts was the appallingly bad fake American accent by an English actor who played 'Ethan'(Morgan Watkins),I kept asking myself WHY?!!,right to the very end,I can't figure out why the character even existed,let alone why he had to be an American,or who told him he could do an American accent. Still, despite a few minor plot holes the movie is worth a watch,if only to see Talulah Riley looking fantastic in a bikini.

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• Scottish Mussel, rom-com of the vanities.

  roddymcintosh2015-07-01

  This movie is dreadful, and by dreadful I mean atrocious . . . and by movie I mean fiasco. I'm not sure where to start when describing this insult to cinema, but I will try. This is supposed to be a romantic comedy set in Scotland. It is neither romantic (I checked with my girlfriend on this point) or funny. It is set in Scotland though, of that I am sure. You can tell it's set in Scotland because it has a ceilidh in it. Oh, and kilts. And whisky. And drugs. And working class dope smoking neds. And a soundtrack full of Scottish bands, including of course the ubiquitous Proclaimers. This lazy, patronising, and insulting portrayal of Scotland is however only part of the problem. There are many more reasons to walk 500 miles to escape Scottish Mussel. The writer responsible for this story has tried to cram every single character type known to cinema into one film, giving the unfortunate viewer a one dimensional clichéd pantomime cast list that is both baffling and infuriating in equal measure. The range of Scottish accents from the (mostly) English cast is unintentionally comical, and the lines they have been forced to trot out have to be some of the worst dialogue ever committed to celluloid. There are so many plot holes and implausible dead end story lines, that to list them all would take longer than the running time of the film. Scenes are painful to watch, and are strung together with a staggering degree of ineptitude. I can only assume the editor responsible realised that a well polished turd is still a turd, and curtailed his/her editing efforts accordingly. I was left with an anger and frustration that I have never experienced before from watching a film. What stays with me to this day is the overwhelming confusion over how this film ever came to be. Who read the script and said "oh that's good"? Who watched the dailies and said "oh we're onto a winner here"? And most of all, who stumped up the cash to pay for this vanity project for a first time writer/director who is so far out of her depth she could be diving for mussels herself. Whoever you are, I hope you're pleased with yourself.

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• Just too derivative

  whynotgoglobal2017-12-09

  Talulah Riley clearly wanted to send out a positive environmental message when she started out with this story, and she might have succeeded if she'd trusted a script editor or producer to knock things into shape. Specifically: Someone should have gone through the script scene by scene and put a red line through every detail and plot contrivance that was directly lifted from "Local Hero". Someone should have realised that setting up the female lead as a beautiful, angelic eco-warrior and then having her fall simperingly in love with a scruffy little chancer for absolutely no reason wasn't going to make sense. Someone should have spoken up for the idea of casting Scottish actors in Scottish parts. They would at least get the accents right. Someone should have been concerned that absolutely nothing that happens in this movie is any kind of surprise. It's difficult to lose yourself in a story when every scene signposts exactly where it's heading and the script and characterisations aren't engaging enough to make you care about how you get there.

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• Enjoyable light romantic comedy

  TheLimey2017-01-10

  This is a light "feel good" romantic comedy that's fun to watch and warm-hearted. Plotwise it follows the boy meets girl, boy screws up, boy seeks redemption arc very effectively. The pacing is perfect, and overall the acting is good with the notable exception of the odd American accent for boy's love rival. Why he has to be American is never really evident, although the character is pretty unbelievable to begin with, so being a foreigner may be the only reason? There are also a lot of characters and again it's not clear why that's necessary, but those are the only flaws. Harry Enfield is particularly well cast as the food truck owning mentor, and running mollusc jokes are well played. This is not a movie with any serious pretensions and I really don't see why the first reviewer here has to spill so much bile over it. It's not going to win any Oscars and it isn't Serious Cinema (TM) -- did I mention it's fun and entertaining, in addition to being well made and edited? It's not awful, it's just a mostly well-executed light- hearted rom com.

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• Scottish Mussel

  iphoneunlockgd2015-07-09

  A thoroughly enjoyable and humorous romp follows restless Ritchie and pals across the scenic Scottish Highlands, as they embark upon a redemption story to rival many of it's high-budget Summer counterparts. Of course, no 'bad guy turns good' redemption story is complete without a competing love interest - and an American conservationist counterpart vies for Beth's attention throughout. Several other threads accompany the main narrative, including the ever popular 'good vs evil' double act between the criminal operations and the local police. Arguably the most appealing though is when we are watching the Otter gradually make it's way back to health - symbolic of nature's plight not being too late to save. Conservationist Beth (played by the writer/director Riley to complete her triumphant triple act) helps ground the film in it's underlying message - and the ever-present threat to our world's natural beauty has never been highlighted more starkly than against the beautiful northern backdrop to this fun flick.

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